The Boy Inside My Closet
by theafic
Summary: "We only use our Alice when our lives depend on it." Mikan never understood the meaning behind her mother's words until the day she decided to help a refugee taking cover inside her closet.


**Summary:** "We only use our Alice when our lives depend on it." Mikan never understood the meaning behind her mother's words until the day she decided to help a refugee taking cover inside her closet.

**Warnings:** vulgar language, mature and dark content like kidnapping, violence, death etc.

**Disclaimer:** Gakuen Alice © Higuchi Tachibana

* * *

**The Boy Inside My Closet**

**001.**

Mikan bit hard until she could feel the pencil squeeze between her teeth. She let out a groan, dropping the pen onto the blank paper in front of her. The dim light of her lamp forced her to squint her eyes a little, but it also happened to be so that she had stayed up past her bedtime.

She stretched her hands above her head, letting a yawn escape past her full lips. There were so many words fighting against her ability to actually get them written down on paper. None of them felt powerful enough to describe how terribly she missed her friend Hotaru, and how guilty she felt for never sending her a letter in the first place.

…

_"You can write, but afterwards we burn the letter." There were no ifs or buts, Yuka wouldn't change her mind even if her life depended on it. "They'll find our new address in a matter of time. Do you want to move again, Mikan?" She had snapped when her daughter literally begged on her knees for the letter to be sent._

_"I just want a normal life without running away from everyone!" Mikan felt her eyes sting, and the lump in her throat made it hard to swallow. If it was something she hated, it was when her mother was upset with her._

_"I know." Yuka's voice sank a few octaves lower than usual. She folded her arms above her chest, resting them on the table they were seated on. Her hazel eyes were shadowed with dark bags, from all the work with getting their stuff packed along with the lack of sleep. "But we will have to keep running until they stop looking for us."_

_"I am tired of hiding!" Mikan had lost count on the schools she attended, the friends she met, and the cities they lived in._

_"Do you think I like it any more than you?" Yuka replied, glaring back at her. "I hate it as much."_

_"I know." She sniffled, ignoring how her eyes were burning. "It's just that I miss Kyoto. We had it so much better there."_

_"We'll survive Hokkaido too." Her mother's glare softened and she reached out her hand, cupping the girl's smaller one, noting how cold they felt._

_"It's freezing here in this apartment and I think we'll die before summer."_

_"It gets warmer during spring and the landlord promised to get the battery fixed tomorrow." The corners of her mouth pulled upwards to a reassuring smile:_

_"You'll love it here too." She promised._

…

Mikan inhaled sharply and her heartbeat made a skip inside her chest. With determination she folded the paper in half and tucked it inside an envelope. It was only matter of time before it was time to pack their belongings and leave Hokkaido for good. The sooner, the better.

She flinched when she felt something brush against her leg. Clementine's blue eyes kept hers captive, her pupils were as narrow as slits. The stern look on her face was enough for the hair to stand out on Mikan's neck.

"You're not telling mom?" she squinted her eyes suspiciously at the Balinese. Sometimes she had the strong gut feeling the cat was spying on her, like it sensed her mischief from afar. She couldn't put her finger on why it felt like that, so she supposed it had something to do with her cat's strict eyes and high cheekbones. No matter how hard she tried to wipe the image from her mind, she couldn't help but think about one of her old teachers.

Clementine only yawned, and leapt up onto her lap. Mikan relaxed under the warmth of her feline friend. Her creamy white fur felt soft against her hand as her fingers combed through her hair.

"Let's go to bed." She replied to the purring creature, biting back a yawn herself.

* * *

Natsume's heartbeats were as loud as the one of a war-drum, and despite the chill air sweat trailed down his forehead and back. He squeezed his eyes shut when he felt the cold metal pressing against his temple, feeling his breath hitched against his throat when the gun clicked.

Defeated, he lifted his trembling arms above his head, and there wasn't anything much that he could do. No matter how fast his legs were and how far he ran, they would catch up to him without as much as breaking a sweat. They were always one step further than him.

"Hyuuga, stop behaving like a brat." One of the men surrounding him stepped forward, he was tall and lanky, and towered over the rest of the men like a raven with his black coat and sooty unkempt mop of hair. The only one of the bunch that stood out like a sore thumb to him. The rest of them he didn't pay attention to, save from the armed guy closest to him.

"I would, if you don't point a weapon on me." Natsume sneered at him, looking at the other man from the corner of his eyes. His fear reflected back at him through the man's dark sunglasses.

"You're not making it easy for us." Persona raised a hand and the boy could feel the pressure against his skin disappear. "We just want what's best for you."

"By hunting me down like a wild animal?" He spat back at his instructor.

"You can't follow the mission, so you don't get the right to complain about punishments." Persona sneered back at him, his dark eyes fixated at him through the slits of his mask. "Come on, let's go back home." He held out his hand for the boy to grab. If it wasn't for the claw-like black nails and the all rings around each bony finger, the gesture would have looked more welcoming to him.

A growl escaped through his gritted teeth and Natsume felt the temperature around his hands increase speedily.

The fire inside him exploded and he prepared himself to lung forward. The hand colliding against his jaw caught him off guard and his legs folded beneath his weight.

His body collided against the snowy ground with a loud thud. The air pressed out from his lungs and his cheek burned from the strike of the man standing above him. The gun was once again directed towards him, but this time a few inches above his head.

"I will pull the trigger if you do that again!" He threatened.

Natsume panted heavily against the ground, feeling the cold smoke reflect back at his face. One of his nostrils was clogged up and when he brushed his hand against it a bloody trail left behind.

"Shoot me. I don't care." If it was one thing he knew, there was no way he would set a foot back at that place again. There was no reason for him to live, so why had he even bothered to try? He pulled his legs close up to his chest, curling into a foetal position. Natsume clenched his eyes shut, feeling the tears trail down his cheeks as he thought about the only reason that had bound him to the godforsaken place.

Now gone forever.

He heard the click once again, and under his breath he counted the seconds he had left to live and even if he prepared himself for the worst, the loud bang was enough for him to flinch.

* * *

_Dear Hotaru,_

_How are you doing? The move to Hokkaido went smoothly, and we are slowly adjusting ourselves to our new lives here. The battery is not working properly, but mom told me she is going to have it fixed by tomorrow. I bet you could have done it immediately. Until then I'll be wrapping myself inside my blankets, because it's freezing cold. Mom says I will love it here, but I doubt it. I already miss you so much. I want to talk to you like we used to._

_Love,  
Mikan._

_Ps. my mom said she'll get me a cell phone for Christmas or my birthday. If you already have one, please send me your number. Would like to stay in touch with you._

Humming lowly to herself she read through the words for what felt like the hundredth time by now, but there wasn't much she could do than revising her work and picking it apart until it was perfect.

The line was long, and the number on her ticket told her she would have to wait for quite a while. The ten-year-old, shuffled the paper into the envelope again, this time closing it for real and adding the stamp to the back side.

Mikan tried out some colourful gel-pens, drawing tiny hearts after her pen pal's home address. She opted on whether or not to buy Hotaru a Christmas card in case she wouldn't make it until the holidays, but in the end she was glad to finally be called up to the counter before her impulse made her buy the cute gingerbreads she had drooled after.

It was only when she was outside the post office and rummaged through her wallet to find the grocery list her mother had given her, only to find the letter she was supposed to have sent to her friend, that she felt like a bucket of ice cold water was dumped over her.

Her heart made a jump inside her ribcage and she turned on her heel.

* * *

"Sorry kid, can't do anything about that." The man behind the counter shrugged his shoulders, "but if you have enough money you can send that one in too, bet your friend will have a good laugh with the list."

Mikan looked down into her wallet, the money her mother lent her would only be enough for food, and panic overwhelmed her.

"But I was here minutes ago. My letter should be here somewhere, right?"

"You were lucky enough to be the last in the line to have yours sent today." His mouth pulled into a thin line as he continued to speak. He glanced at a silver watch around his wrist. "The post van left only one minute ago. If luck is still on your side, maybe you can convince them to give the envelope back again. Though I doubt…"

"Thank you!" And without as much as throwing him a last glance, the brunette ran outside. Her widened eyes darted from left to right, trying to spot the orange van through the snow storm.

The air was knocked out from her lungs when something hard collided against her. She fell backwards into the snow, with force enough for her head to bounce up again and smashing into the boy's laying above her.

Mikan let out a wince and she brought her hands to her head, gently massaging the sore spot on her forehead. She clenched her eyes shut tightly, ignoring the tears in the corners of them.

She felt his red eyes burn into her, like a wolf who just trapped its prey. They were stern-looking, and his pupils were narrowed.

A whimper escaped his lips, and he rolled off her onto his back into the snow. His forehead looked bruised, and the sight reminded her of how her own forehead probably looked. Though her appearance was nothing compared to his. Not only was his forehead swollen, but she guessed someone had slapped him across his cheek as well. And was that dried up blood under his nose?

The black-haired boy suddenly broke down into a long-drawn cough attack, discreetly trying to hide the blood from her by covering his mouth but the droplets on the snow didn't fool her.

"A-Are you okay?" She croaked.

"I'm fine." His voice sounded raspy and forced, contradicting the words coming from his mouth. Drying his hand in his shirt, he brought it back to the ground to push himself up, probably in a hurry from there. The sudden movement made his face twist into a grimace.

"Let me help you." Mikan reached out to grab his hand, but he pushed her away.

"Leave me alone, I don't need your help!" He snapped at her.

She let out a dramatic gasp, feeling her jaw drop. "If I'm not allowed to help you, I'll go and get the post man to call an ambulance instead. How about that?" Her hands rested against her hips and her glare followed him from top to toe. His frame was lanky and his slow movements made her suspect there were other injuries under the school uniform he was wearing.

There was a flash in his eyes, and as Mikan was about to turn on her heel for the second time she felt a hand wrap around her wrist with force enough for her to fall backwards into his lap.

His other arm wrapped around her neck.

"No ambulance."

A shudder travelled across her spine as his warm breath hit her ear. His sooty dark hair tickled against her cheek as he leant in close to her and the girl winced once again as the temperature around her skin heated up only to disappear again. "Or I will burn you to crisp."

Silence engulfed them for a second. "Are you an Alice?" Her brows squinted downwards as she dared to glance at him from the corner of her eyes.

He jerked his hands away as if he had burned himself on her, giving her enough time to shake herself away from his grip.

His eyes widened as he brought his trembling hands close up to his face. "No way…" He whispered.

Mikan only stared at him as his actions were already confirming her suspicions. A flicker of fire covered his palm and disappeared into the night. "Are _you _one of them?"

"Maybe." She whispered, throwing a glance around her in case someone would care to eavesdrop. "What are you doing here? I thought the Academy was in Tokyo."

"What does that have to do with you?" His ruby eyes hardened, as they held hers captive. Mikan gulped, pulling herself further away from him.

"I just want to know why you can't just leave us alone already?!" she growled back at him. The fact that they hadn't even had time to settle down into their new home before they had been tracked down again was enough for her to hate that school even more.

They glared at each other for what felt like a few minutes, before he finally broke his eyes off from her. Letting a sigh escape past him, his tense shoulders relaxed.

"I am not here because of you."

"_Why_ are you here then?" she raised one eyebrow, squinting her eyes at him.

"Running away from that shithole, but it does not really matter." She had to perk her ears to fully hear what he was mumbling. His wounds seemed finally affect his consciousness. "Sooner or later they'll capture me again."

The boy's eyes closed and his body swayed towards her, fortunately her reflexes were quick enough to catch him before he had a chance to cause any more damage to himself.

"Wait, are they hunting you down?" Mikan brushed her hands against his cheek, giving him a gentle pat to keep him awake. "Hey, stay with me!"

If his words were true, it was only a matter of days until she and her mother would have to disappear again.

* * *

When Natsume came to his senses he found himself wrapped into a pile of blankets. His soaked uniform hung over a warm battery across the other side of the room and the pig-tailed girl he had run into sat cross-legged on a pillow beside him. Her hazel eyes felt overwhelming and he looked away from her to avoid the sea of worry that stared at him. His glance followed the corners of the unfamiliar room, taking in each detail with care.

Cardboard boxes piled up into a wall around them and the interior was simple, he could see one of the boxes topped over to one side. Colorful blankets and pillows sticking out from the opening.

"You're awake!" She leant in close towards him, blocking his view. "How are you feeling?"

"Oi, pigtails." He cleared his sore throat. "Where am I?"

"I brought you to my house. Couldn't let you out there in the storm." She replied, a tint of rose spreading across her cheeks.

Natsume pushed himself up on his elbow, groaning at the sharp pain in his abdomen he stumbled towards into her lap. His hand was clutching to the bandage she had wrapped around his torso. He cringed at the wetness as his blood seeped through the white canvas and into his palm. "Did you… Did you get the bullet out of me?"

"Bullet?" She blinked. "Were you shot?!" Her voice grew pitches higher at the exclamation.

Natsume nodded, and with her help he forced himself back to the futon he had been laying on. Her hands were trembling like a leaf when she started to undo the bandage slowly and clumsily. It took him a lot of patience not to snap at her to hurry up.

The color from her pink cheeks disappeared and he could hear her swallow.

Blood seeped out from the dark hole in his stomach, and he wondered how long it would take until he had bled himself dry. "What are you waiting for? Get the bullet out."

"M-Me?" Hesitantly she pointed towards herself and he gave her a quick nod. Feeling the nagging of his wound getting worse again. "No! No way! I don't know how to treat a bullet wound! What am I even supposed to do with that?!" She shook her head frantically, waving her hands in front of her in protest.

"I'll end up hurting you even more and I really think we should call the ambulance!"

"No!" He hissed through gritted teeth. "I don't need an ambulance."

She opened her mouth and closed it a few times, probably thinking of an argument to back herself up. Natsume knew she meant well, after all her heart appeared to be made of gold. Why else would this reckless idiot bring an injured stranger into her home?

"Whatever. I will do it myself. Do you have a first aid kit somewhere? Alcohol and a pair of tweezers?"

"Wait a moment. _What_ do you need alcohol for?" She squinted her eyes at him suspiciously.

"Are you really as stupid as you look, pigtails?" If it wasn't for how his stomach swung around, making him nauseous, maybe he could have held back some of his irritation she didn't even deserve. "I need alcohol to sterilize the tweezers."

"How should I have known that?" She stuck out her tongue at him, folding her arms tightly above her chest. "And my name is not pigtails by the way."

"Frankly, _pigtails_, I could not care less." He growled back, squeezing his belly. A trail of sweat travelled down his forehead. "I am bleeding and in a lot of pain. Do you have the first aid kit or not?"

"Okay, okay! Give me a moment!" The brunette threw her hands in the air, quickly pushing herself to her feet.

"Mikan?" The faint voice and knock on her door, made him jolt up from the futon. "Who are you talking to?"

"No one, mom." She called out loudly, waving to him to get down. "Quick, hide."

He held his breath as the handle of the door turned downwards. Instinctively his eyes darted around her room until they landed on the window. Before he could prepare himself for his escape, Mikan stumbled over to the door in speed, pressing it tightly closed.

"What's going on here?" The knock on the door was loud. "Who are you talking to?"

Mikan threw him an apologetic smile, leaning her weight towards the door. "No one. Just Clementine."

The voice let out a sigh. "I would believe you if she's not beside me right now! Stop playing around, Mikan!"

_Shit._

"Can't I have any privacy in this house?" The brunette whined.

"I was about to ask you about the groceries I sent you to buy because the refrigerator is still empty!"

"I'm not feeling so good." Mikan cleared her throat, sniffling loudly enough for the woman to hear. "Had to get home and rest, you know?"

"You're not feeling well?" Her mother exclaimed. "You should have told me! I wouldn't have sent you to the store if I knew!"

"I know, mom. Sorry."

There was a moment of silence. Natsume let his eyes wander back to the window.

"I will be back soon with food. You'll be okay without me here, right?" Her tone was softer than before.

"Yeah." Mikan replied. "Be careful and I love you." She turned herself to face the door, her smile almost reaching her eyes. She pressed her ear against the door, keeping herself focused on the footsteps outside.

Natsume didn't move a single muscle in his body, fearful her mother would still be lurking outside her room. Being screwed over by too many adults in his short life, it was understandable he didn't trust anyone.

Mikan tip toed towards the small window and glancing out into the snow storm which didn't seem to have calmed down the slightest. "Coast is clear." She threw him a look over her shoulder. "And since we'll have the house for ourselves, let's get to the bullet wound."

"Can you hurry up finding that first aid kit already?" Natsume groaned impatiently.

"Okay, okay! Calm down!" She waved dismissively at him, disappearing through the door.

* * *

What Mikan didn't notice when she looked out from her window was the tall and lanky man taking cover in the shadows of the trees outside their front porch. His coat made it easy for him to blend into the background and the pitch-dark sky of the night.

Stars loomed over his head like small dots on a dark canvas.

He licked his painted lips as his masked eyes skimmed through each word written at the paper.

The paper had been drenched in snow, already torn in the middle from when he had fetched it from the ground. Under normal circumstances the paper might have gone unnoticed by him, but the red droplets on the back of the sheet had caught his attention, and so he had followed the path written down which led to his current destination.

A smirk widened on his lips at the sight of the girl.

_**To be continued**_

* * *

_**A/N: **__Thank you for reading the chapter. I feel like I need to answer some questions before diving deeper into the story. This fic is an AU, where Mikan grew up with her mother, and they spent their life running away from the government. Mikan never attended the Academy and she has a totally different view of being an Alice etc. As a result her personality might be a little different than what we see in the manga._

_Leave a review and let me know your thoughts on this chapter, comments and feedback give aspiring writers motivation to continue writing._

_And last but not least, a huge __**thank you**__ to my beta reader __**Clara Licht **__for helping me with the chapter._


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